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Effective networking requires creating a dialogue.
Surveys indicate that 50% to 75% of people found their
last job through networking. You can network several ways,
including networking by phone, giving a presentation, or networking
face-to-face. This article will focus on three types of
face-to-face networking: one to one, one to many (e.g., in a
meeting), and many to many (e.g., at a conference).
There are many opportunities for face-to-face networking,
including professional association meetings, social gatherings, and
job fairs. The mechanics, tips, and tools in this article are
applicable to all three types and to the different situations. You
must decide which types and places work best for your face-to-face
networking.
But first, here is a short quiz about networking.
Why Network?
A) To meet people
B) To get a job
C) To make money
D) Next Wave told you to
Why network among strangers?
A) To tell people you?re looking for a job
B) To build relationships
C) To get calls when job openings and opportunities occur
D) Next Wave said it would be good for me
When networking you should ...
A) Talk about yourself
B) Talk about your ideal job
C) Ask questions and build rapport
D) Talk about Next Wave
If you answered, respectively, A, B, and C, then you are on your
way to success. You?ll also recognize that it?s possible to break
effective face-to-face networking down into three component parts:
Meeting the Person(s), Establishing Rapport, and Communicating
Effectively.
Meet the Person
Face-to-face networking begins with attitude and body language.
You may recall learning that dogs sense fear; well they--like
people--can also pick up on a person?s attitude. A useful attitude
is an important aspect of networking. Useful attitudes include
being warm, enthusiastic, relaxed, curious, helpful, patient, and
interested.
Insider?s Tool #1: Finding a Positive Attitude
Try this technique to get a positive attitude before a
face-to-face networking situation. Find a quiet spot, close your
eyes, and picture a time you had a positive moment. Recall the
sights, sounds, and physical sensations. Intensify the sensations.
At the height of the sensations, squeeze together the thumb and
forefinger of your writing hand, then relax them. Practice this
several times. When that face-to-face networking situation arises,
squeeze your thumb and forefinger as a trigger to recall the
attitude.
Just as it does with other animals, human body language also
sends a message. Body language can create a positive or negative
presence--the degree to which an individual attracts attention and
how they represent themselves. There are four elements to positive
body language that conveys a positive presence: standing with palms
open, making eye contact, giving a welcoming smile, and offering a
pleasant greeting.
Insider?s Tool #2: Making Positive Eye Contact.
To determine if you make positive eye contact, think of a
face-to-face conversation you had today and try to recall the other
person?s eye color. Practice this observation in several settings
until it feels natural. This simple exercise can help you start to
focus on making more genuine eye contact when in conversations.
A welcoming smile offers a simple but effective message. At a
recent training session I conducted, fewer than half of the
participants were able to identify their own welcoming smile.
Insider?s Tool #3: Practice Your Best Smiles and
Greetings
Ask friends to tell you which of your smiles are most genuine
and make them feel welcomed. Practice those smiles in a mirror.
Make them a conscious part of your body language for face-to-face
networking.
A positive greeting incorporates friendly gestures, eye contact,
and a smile. The greeting should also be in a pleasant tone and use
the other person?s name. Use of a person?s name communicates a
message of familiarity. Also, repeating a person?s name after being
introduced immediately acknowledges that you are listening.
Establish Rapport
These basic tools will help you become ready to start meeting
people. Once you?ve met someone, though, you will also want to
create a positive connection with that person--to establish a
personal rapport. One technique to build rapport is using
synchronizing skills, adjusting your physical and vocal tools to be
in tune with the other person. Synchronizing your physical
attributes can include aligning gestures, body posture, body
movements, facial expressions, and even breathing. You can also
synchronize vocal attributes including tone, volume, speed, pitch,
rhythm, and verbal fluency. Verbal fluency is using words that the
other person prefers. It is analogous to trying to speak to someone
using their native language. As with speaking a foreign language,
use preferred words only to the degree that you are familiar with
their proper use.
Insider?s Tool #4: Practice Synchronized
Conversations
Focus on synchronizing when having a conversation with a
partner. After 1 minute, stop and reverse roles and then discuss
what you each observed. Was the synchronizing subtle or was it
obvious mirroring? Provide each other constructive feedback. It may
help to have a third person as an observer to provide feedback.
It is important when synchronizing to make sure the words,
tones, gestures, and body language are all congruent, i.e., send
the same message. Insider?s Tip: To build rapport, observe the
person(s) prior to approaching them to network. This allows you to
identify their physical and vocal styles.
Effective Communication
Effective networking requires creating a dialogue. You can
accomplish this through exchanging information and finding ways to
assist one another. The first rule of effective communicating is
ask, don?t tell. Use open-ended questions--those that begin with
who, what, when, why, where, or how.
Another effective technique is providing details from which the
listener can easily extract information and then respond. One way
to do this is by adding an information tag to your greeting, for
example, "Hi, I?m David and I am a scientist." This expands your
greeting and provides an opportunity for the listener to respond.
Often they will either mimic your response or they may respond with
a question, such as, "What type of scientist?" If they respond with
an open question, a dialogue can begin. If they mimic your
greeting, then you need to use an open-ended question to get the
person talking.
Insider?s Tool #5: Practice Using Open-Ended
Questions
With a partner, practice using open-ended questions by having
one person start by asking an open question to which the other
person must respond with an open question. Go back and forth for a
minute. The listener should notify the speaker if they do not use
an open-ended question.
Insider's Tool #6: Become an Active Listener.
Active listening is giving the speaker feedback that
acknowledges you heard and understood what they have said. This is
different from paraphrasing. In paraphrasing, you are restating
what the speaker indicated. In active listening you are extracting
information from what they said and responding with new information
that relates to it. A simple example would be: Person A says, "The
job market is very competitive." Person B responds, "Yes, jobs I
have applied for have received resumes from many qualified people."
People like to know that they are being listened to. This is a way
to show you are listening and participating in the discussion.
Putting It All Together
By practicing useful attitude, open body language,
synchronizing, and active listening, you can master the three
important tools to successful face-to-face networking. This article
provided you a blueprint and tools to help hone your networking
techniques. However, it is up to you to apply these to gain the
Insider?s Edge on face-to-face networking.